I’m not into topping—but plenty of other trans women are. I asked some (and a few straight guys who bottom) what it’s like for them.
There are two reasons why I do not top: One, topping takes a lot of effort, and I prefer not to work up a sweat. Two, I’m a non-op trans woman, and the only position that I’m in when I penetrate a partner with my penis is one of existential vulnerability.
I’ve passed on most requests to top because I felt like my womanhood was at stake. If I were to leave the bottom, I would be moving away from the sexual expectation to which straight cis women are held: to be penetrated. When I do top, my partner’s desire feels more ambiguous: What am I to him?
This anxiety colored the first time I did it, an exception made for my former high school …Read More